He proposed the very first time I went to visit him in his house—a small single corner room without a kitchen. He was a teacher, so his financial situation was understandable. I looked at his single room and compared it to my life and all the rooms I’d ever lived in. I’ve lived in houses that would look like a castle compared to his single room. I felt disappointed when I thought about the kind of future both of us were going to have. I liked him nonetheless.
I found him on Facebook. I was on Facebook soliciting funds for my NGO project when this guy sent me a message in my inbox. He spoke about my NGO and continued to give me advice on some other things I could do to improve the fundraising. Judging from the way he talked, he was also very passionate about the work of my NGO.
He requested a meeting after a week of talking on the phone, which I gladly accepted, thinking he was going to make a donation to my NGO but he had a different agenda. He was looking for an opportunity to meet me because he had been given a prophecy about the woman he was going to marry. He wanted to meet me and see if I fit the description of the woman in the prophecy.
I come from a family where the trend in the marriages of the women wasn’t good; they marry late or marry early and don’t give birth, or give birth with different men. I didn’t want that for myself, so I started praying for a different marital story when I was just a secondary school student. I wanted the first man I dated to be the only one, so when he proposed, I also started praying about it.
But he started pressuring me. I told him, “Honestly, because of my upcoming program, I haven’t had the time to pray about it, so give me some more time. Maybe till the end of the program so I can have a clear mind to decide.” Just when I had convinced him to give me some time, two pastors also came to me with their love proposals. Straightaway, I knew I wouldn’t be at peace with any of them.
Right after the NGO program, this guy brought up the proposal again. At some point, I got the message. The calmness of my spirit anytime I mentioned his name in my prayers was proof enough that he was the one. So, one afternoon I went to his house—that single corner room that made my house look like a castle. He was sitting in a chair, facing away from me. I told him, “Well, I asked you to give me more time to make a decision, but you kept putting pressure on me. You leave me with no option…I think we should remain friends.”
He answered, “Okay, if that’s what you want.”
I looked at his sad face and burst out laughing. I told him, “Oh, I’m lying, but seriously, what do you want me to say?” He said nothing. I told him, “Yoo, I’ll do it.” Then he raised his head and smiled. He reached out and rubbed my cheeks, like playing with a little child. I smiled and asked, “Now that we’re dating, how are we going to start?”
Just four months after saying yes to him, he told me, “I want to meet your mother, my future in-law.” I wasn’t surprised because he had already introduced me to his parents. They were very happy to meet me, but I was a little unsure of how my parents were going to receive him because of his tribe. I hesitated and prayed about it. Finally, when I gathered the courage to introduce him to my mother, she asked him, “So when are you bringing your people here to start the marriage ceremony?”
When we got married, we didn’t go back to that corner room that made my house look like a castle. We put resources together and got ourselves a single-room self-contained.
He was a chemistry teacher for ten years before he resigned. He didn’t have to tell you before you knew he was a man of vision. When he sets his heart on something, he never rests until he gets it—well, except cooking. He tried several times to cook a great meal, but the results were always the same. He asked me, “So why don’t I enjoy the food I’ve cooked myself?” He might was a bad cook, but not a bad helper. He has been the hand that scrubs the bathroom since we got married. After I gave birth to our third child, he picked up a new role in washing the dishes every time. And before he leaves the house for the lab, he’ll ask, “Is there anything you’d like me to do for you before I leave?”
It’s that sweet calm with which he asks the question that’s the most enchanting.
In August 2016, he got admitted into a school in the US to do his Ph.D. We had a baby then, so we all joined him to travel to the US. While here, he has devoted his time to writing academic papers and has published lots of his research works.
Most times, I think about that single corner room where I met him, and how far the Lord has brought us, and my heart can only be glad. When we gave birth to our third child, he asked me, “Which car do you want?” I told him, “Any three-row seater car will do.” The next day, we both went to the showroom and came back home with a new car. The last time, he said me, “I’m waiting for our tenth anniversary so we can do our wedding all over again. I didn’t like the kind of wedding we had due to our financial status then. Our love deserves something grand.”